Bigger than my stomach

You guys! I’m going to redo my entryway! Today. Like, this afternoon. Like, while I care for an 18-month-old, and gestate a fetus, and recover from the holidays, and also vacuum (because my house totally needs to be vacuumed) and do a load of whites.

Adorable nook, all by removing closet doors. – http://pinterest.com/pin/163888873913876375/

That. That is what I’ll do. And it will be so cute, y’all! Even though that also means I have to buy and install all the bench/shelving stuff. And throw out like half my coats (which, I have a lot of coats, but most of them don’t fit any more. Having too small coats is depressing….I prefer not to deal with them. Aaaaaanyway….) And also find a new place to keep my vacuum, and tv trays, and a half dozen board games and other random stuff. Oh, and remove a door + hinges from its frame. And probably spackle and paint.

I’m going to do this! Totally! I will follow through with it and not leave board games with choking hazard-sized pieces lying around on the living room floor when I give up halfway through. I will not make a half-finished eyesore that will fill my husband with frustration and regret every time he opens the front door after a long day at work.

And, oh my god, you guys, can you just take a moment to feel sorry for my husband, who was at work when I thought of this idea, so won’t know about it until he reads this on his phone during a much needed break. He’ll be like “oooh, she blogged. Maybe there’s a cute picture of my daughter.” And then he’ll read with mounting horror because he knows this is exactly the kind of thing I do.

Like, he’s hoping, based on my description & post title that I’ve talked myself out of it, but he also knows he might have to come home to just utter chaos, and possibly take off work to drive me to the hospital for exhaustion/stupidity. This is the life he lives every day, folks.

He could walk in the door to find his daughter coloring on the walls while I play candy crush (I was too tired to stop her, I’ll clean it up later) and also I didn’t make any food and there are no clean clothes. Or she could be peacefully napping while I prepare an elaborate dinner, and the laundry is folded, and I made the bed and put away the dishes. Or the entire living room could be covered in fabric and glitter because I had a great idea, I’ll clean up later, ooh, but then I wanted to make a cake and somehow used all the dishes we own. Wanna order takeout? I didn’t make any actual dinner, just cake and a mess.

Utter laziness, beautiful domesticity, creative madness. This is the roulette wheel that spins every day at my house.

Oh, and just to be clear, husband, I’m not actually going to take the door off the hall closet or paint anything. I might go to Target and buy a shelf with little hooks on it to hang my purse, though. Ooh, and I’ll think real hard about throwing out the extra coats, but I probably won’t get to it. I will wash the whites.

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