For my heartburn, I’ve been advised to lie with my head propped up higher than my stomach. For my swollen feet, I’ve been advised to lie with my feet up above my heart. Also, I have read that it is bad to lie flat on my back, but good to lie on my left side. When I lie on my left side, my arm goes to sleep.

Point is, there is no correct way for me to sleep. Or rather, there may be a correct way, but I certainly cannot attain this pretzel-like position in my current roly-poly state. Also, I’m being kicked while all this is happening.

To cheer myself up about my predicament, I am knitting/designing a tiny sweater all in one piece.