You guys have no idea how many awesome home decorating posts I would like to have shown you by now. Unfortunately, it is just physically beyond me at this point to get many of the things I want accomplished. After about ten or twenty minutes of moderate physical labor, my back starts spasming and I have to lie down on the floor.
Then I realize I’ve lain flat on my back, and you’re not supposed to do that when you’re pregnant, because, like a turtle, you may get stuck that way. (Actually it has to do with blood clots, but I feel more like a stuck turtle.) Then to make up for it, I have to lie around knitting the wedding shawl and watching tv for the rest of the night.
The point is, I don’t think I’m one of those women who enjoys being pregnant. It’s really weird, and I think I got kicked in the sciatic nerve earlier. Also every time I look at my feet, I think of the Colbert skits with “Ham Rove.” And I really am anxious for this kid to be done baking already.
…but also not, because apart from the scary fact that when you have a kid, the hospital just sends them home with you, without giving you a test or anything, I don’t know where the pieces of my half-finished diaper bag are, and there are cans of paint on the nursery floor, and a few weeks ago, my cat ate a glow stick after I let her play with it, and I lost my mind because, how can I be responsible for a child if I can’t even keep my cat away from luminous poison?
fyi: glow sticks are actually non-toxic. additional fyi: it costs $65 dollars to call animal poison control & have them tell you that.
The thing is, I am having trouble growing this baby and preparing for this baby simultaneously. The former takes precedence, and I’m just having to get used to the fact that a lot of the preparations I had originally imagined I could do can, and will, have to wait.