You guys have no idea how many awesome home decorating posts I would like to have shown you by now. Unfortunately, it is just physically beyond me at this point to get many of the things I want accomplished. After about ten or twenty minutes of moderate physical labor, my back starts spasming and I have to lie down on the floor.

Then I realize I’ve lain flat on my back, and you’re not supposed to do that when you’re pregnant, because, like a turtle, you may get stuck that way. (Actually it has to do with blood clots, but I feel more like a stuck turtle.) Then to make up for it, I have to lie around knitting the wedding shawl and watching tv for the rest of the night.

The point is, I don’t think I’m one of those women who enjoys being pregnant. It’s really weird, and I think I got kicked in the sciatic nerve earlier. Also every time I look at my feet, I think of the Colbert skits with “Ham Rove.” And I really am anxious for this kid to be done baking already.

…but also not, because apart from the scary fact that when you have a kid, the hospital just sends them home with you, without giving you a test or anything, I don’t know where the pieces of my half-finished diaper bag are, and there are cans of paint on the nursery floor, and a few weeks ago, my cat ate a glow stick after I let her play with it, and I lost my mind because, how can I be responsible for a child if I can’t even keep my cat away from luminous poison?

fyi: glow sticks are actually non-toxic. additional fyi: it costs $65 dollars to call animal poison control & have them tell you that.

The thing is, I am having trouble growing this baby and preparing for this baby simultaneously. The former takes precedence, and I’m just having to get used to the fact that a lot of the preparations I had originally imagined I could do can, and will, have to wait.


talk me down

Ashley’s wedding shower is on Sunday, and somehow I am still convinced that I could finish her shawl in time to give at the shower. This is clearly folly. But this is how my internal dialogue is going:

I have finished just over 17 of 30 repeats of the pattern. That means I have 13 to go. Plus the entire border. And blocking.

But it’s the weekend! I will have some time.

You work, and have errands to run, and cleaning and other things.

Maybe if I modified the border to make it smaller?

This has to stop.

Ooh, I could bring it to work tomorrow. I can knit and talk on the phone at the same time, kind of.

Someone please stage an intervention.

I bet I can do it. I’ll think about those border changes….there’s totally enough time.