Oh. Hi.

Hey look! I still have a blog. Sorry about that. I’m back now.

This winter has been a bit of a mess. I don’t have to tell you about the weather, and I think we’d all be happier if I didn’t bring it up again. Zooey was sick straight from New Year’s Day until sometime in February, with everyone else taking turns being sick all around her. Actually, I may or may not have been sick last week. When I’m pregnant I can’t always tell if my random assortment of ailments is because I’m incubating a virus or a fetus. Could go either way. Also, my Braxton-Hicks contractions are hella bad this time around. It seems like every other night they’re pat week I have to do the “should-i-call-the-midwife” math in my head (I had six contractions in an hour-and-a-half…but it’s after 10…But they’re pretty regular…But I’m 34 weeks…but….)

I should probably drink more water.

I’ve still got a touch over 5 weeks to go, in theory, but my mommy-sense is telling me this kid might want out early. See: aforementioned crazy Braxton-Hicks, also her sister was 9 days early. So 3-4 weeks? Or maybe she’ll go long and make it 6 weeks, just to remind me who really runs the show.

Captive audience

Zooey has started this thing where she takes me or her dad by the hand & makes us come over tho where she wants to sit and play blocks or color or whatever. We are not there to participate, just to watch. If I try to color, she takes the paper away. If I start building a block tower, she takes it apart. She did let her dad help her make a play food sandwich this morning, so maybe I’m on some kind of punishment. I don’t know.

So when she came over to me this afternoon and grabbed my hands and said, “out out!” I figured she was going to lead me somewhere to watch her transfer crayons from one box to another (she does this at least once a day). Instead I got up from my armchair, and she let go of me, and promptly gave my seat to Bob, the stuffed leopard.

I definitely think I’m on some kind of punishment.

Bigger than my stomach

You guys! I’m going to redo my entryway! Today. Like, this afternoon. Like, while I care for an 18-month-old, and gestate a fetus, and recover from the holidays, and also vacuum (because my house totally needs to be vacuumed) and do a load of whites.

Adorable nook, all by removing closet doors. – http://pinterest.com/pin/163888873913876375/

That. That is what I’ll do. And it will be so cute, y’all! Even though that also means I have to buy and install all the bench/shelving stuff. And throw out like half my coats (which, I have a lot of coats, but most of them don’t fit any more. Having too small coats is depressing….I prefer not to deal with them. Aaaaaanyway….) And also find a new place to keep my vacuum, and tv trays, and a half dozen board games and other random stuff. Oh, and remove a door + hinges from its frame. And probably spackle and paint.

I’m going to do this! Totally! I will follow through with it and not leave board games with choking hazard-sized pieces lying around on the living room floor when I give up halfway through. I will not make a half-finished eyesore that will fill my husband with frustration and regret every time he opens the front door after a long day at work.

And, oh my god, you guys, can you just take a moment to feel sorry for my husband, who was at work when I thought of this idea, so won’t know about it until he reads this on his phone during a much needed break. He’ll be like “oooh, she blogged. Maybe there’s a cute picture of my daughter.” And then he’ll read with mounting horror because he knows this is exactly the kind of thing I do.

Like, he’s hoping, based on my description & post title that I’ve talked myself out of it, but he also knows he might have to come home to just utter chaos, and possibly take off work to drive me to the hospital for exhaustion/stupidity. This is the life he lives every day, folks.

He could walk in the door to find his daughter coloring on the walls while I play candy crush (I was too tired to stop her, I’ll clean it up later) and also I didn’t make any food and there are no clean clothes. Or she could be peacefully napping while I prepare an elaborate dinner, and the laundry is folded, and I made the bed and put away the dishes. Or the entire living room could be covered in fabric and glitter because I had a great idea, I’ll clean up later, ooh, but then I wanted to make a cake and somehow used all the dishes we own. Wanna order takeout? I didn’t make any actual dinner, just cake and a mess.

Utter laziness, beautiful domesticity, creative madness. This is the roulette wheel that spins every day at my house.

Oh, and just to be clear, husband, I’m not actually going to take the door off the hall closet or paint anything. I might go to Target and buy a shelf with little hooks on it to hang my purse, though. Ooh, and I’ll think real hard about throwing out the extra coats, but I probably won’t get to it. I will wash the whites.

The Cheesecake

I often feel very good about my cooking skills. I feel one of the things that makes me a good cook is my ability to go beyond a recipe. I’m pretty good at whipping things up on the fly, adjusting recipes to suit my needs, and in general just improvising.
Anyway, it’s all well and good for me to brag about my mad kitchen skills. Until I make something great, and want to make it twice.
Then I suck, and have terrible kitchen skills because, where is the recipe? Oh, right IT DOESN’T EXIST! You, Bethany, with your tinkering with things and not having any time to write down what you did because you’re too creative, by which I mean, you’re terrible at following instructions and have just learned to hide it from everybody. And now you can never eat those cookies again. Or, in this specific instance, cheesecake.
Last year for Thanksgiving I made a cheesecake. It was good, and it had a shortbread crust and a delicious caramel sauce to go with it. But I don’t have a recipe for cheesecake in my recipe box. I DO have a recipe for cheesecake in the dessert cookbook that also has the delicious caramel sauce, and the page was bookmarked with a handwritten recipe for…um…something. Cupcakes, possibly? I have no system.Actually, there are two recipes for cheesecake. One on each page, but I’m pretty sure it’s not the first one. I think last year’s cheesecake might be at least related to the second recipe, but I’m also pretty sure I merged it with a recipe from Food Network’s website. Which I did not pin or bookmark or save in any way.So I guess what I’m saying is, maybe I should learn to follow a recipe.

So close…

I’m hoping we can get Zooey potty-trained (during the daytime, at least) before Newbie is here. She’s interested in potty-related things, and seems, at least sometimes, to be aware of when she has to go potty. Last night, she told me she had to go potty, and I took off her diaper so she could sit on the little potty we have downstairs.

Except she didn’t want to sit on it. She immediately wanted to move on to washing her hands. So I sat on the big potty to demonstrate how “big girls go pee-pee.” And she did go pee-pee.

On the floor, by the sink.

And then she wanted to wipe herself and wash her hands. So really, I should be proud, because she’s got almost the whole routine down. Except, you know, the important part.

Halloween (after the fact)

So, Halloween.

It’s pretty much my favorite holiday. I don’t know if you know that, but it is. You know why? Because it’s awesome. Christmas has a lot of expectations. I’ve got hundreds of dollars of presents to buy for dozens of people and WHAT IF I GIVE SUCKY PRESENTS EVERYONE WILL HATE ME!  And it goes on forever!!! It’s almost two months away and everyone is already trying to get me to celebrate it. Bah, humbug.

Thanksgiving is fine, and there’s stuffing, but it’s still a lot of running around trying to see everyone and not as much relaxing with my belt off as I’d really like. And my team never plays during the football game.

Halloween is really the good stuff. It’s a celebration of chocolate and pretending to be someone else all night. Also The Nightmare Before Christmas. No one expects me to buy anything more than a giant bag of fun size Snickers, and maybe a couple pumpkins. I also like making costumes and carving pumpkins. Wheeee! Low expectations/high reward. That is the holiday for me.

This year I was really excited to make a costume for Zooey. I’ve been planning to make her Boo from Monsters Inc. basically since I could put little pigtails in her baby hair. I made a costume that I’m pretty proud of:

boo costumeThough, you may notice, there’s not little Boo in the costume. She would not wear it. Or pigtails. But it’s cool. I had a backup:

owl_costume1

owl_costume2

4-hour owl! And she actually let me put it on (kind of, there was some freaking out when I attached the wings, but she got used to them). And, I carved a pumpkin to match:

owl_pumpkin

the new kid

Hey, guess what y’all?

big_sister1 Someone’s going to be a big sister! She’s as excited about it as a 16-month-old can be, inasmuch as we now spend more time talking about babies, and even though she doesn’t understand exactly what we’re trying to tell her, she likes to talk about babies, or at least say “Baby!” very excitedly. The new kid should be here at the end of April (I’m 15 weeks right now, if you were interested) and we should know next month if we get the boy or girl variety.

Everyone is very happy about it, including me, when I’m not barfing. Which can stop any time now, please.